Drunken Faun - Medusa...It's Been Awhile

 Dear Getrunken Faun, 

Lately I've been struggling to give my scales the extra shine they need. Would you suggest Turtle Wax or Crisco? 

Medusa Gorgon

Hey Medusa...what's up baby?  Long time no see.  I guess that's kinda my fault, you know..me roaming around the place with these two bitches.  So, I hope there's no misunderstandings about letting Perseus in that time cause I thought he was a olive oil delivery boy...cause I know how nice a shiny those scales of yours get when you use it.

Leola: So you actually met Medusa?  For real?  Not lying like you did when you said you met the guy who invented the wheel when EVERYONE knew that was a fallacy.

I don't think I like it when you call me phallic even though that is a very accurate term.

Jackie: That...is disgusting!

Anyway your breaking into a heartfelt reunion...reconcilitating time with my snake..girl.  I really like her...she really kinky when she frolics.

Leola:  I've had enough. Could you please just answer the question...in a very..not you way?

Oh sure, since I might have a chance to be apart of the answer later I'll give my opinion.  I wouldn't go with Turtle Wax cause it tastes bad and it leaves the shiny objects a little less shiny since you have to use the tongue to get it off.

Jackie:  Is there nothing you say that isn't revolting in some way or fashion?

And Crisco is nice but it makes you smell like bacon later...which isn't a bad thing if that's what your going for but just to warn you I don't like sharing my breakfast if you catch my drift.

Leola: I would like to thank you for making me thinner at least.

Someone better, cause I don't see much else working.

Leola: (picks up knife)

Jackie:  Not on the carpet!

That's what she said.

Leola:  You went there!  How could you do that!  That is so cheap!

Jackie:  Stop giving him fodder!

But yeah...olive oil baby.  Don't mess up a good thing.  Like how it slithered down my hoof and you had all those cool art statues everywhere and you had those broken mirrors and stuff.  I miss that and I'm pretty sure I could steal some olive oil from the pantry...I saw some in there when they locked me in after I chewed on the cable wires.  I like the sparkiness, sorta like bacon rinds...I miss you honey.

Leola: Did he drink the lighter fluid again?

Jackie:  Nope...kerosene.

Was that it?  I thought it said Kool Aid.