Jackie: There is no direct question for this so I guess it will just have to be put in story form.
Leola: Indeed. Drunken Faun is being pranked right now and it was all a mistake! How I wish we thought of this!
Jackie: Right now we are watching one of more entertaining shows, Ghost Adventures. Note our surprise when they were on their way to an investigation when they were told by a local bar owner that Drunken Faun was an expert belligerent ghost attractor. In reality he was just trying to get Drunken Faun out of the bar at any cost and though this was a devious misconception, he decided to take that opportunity.
Jackie: And this is a running account of the conversation that started and the mayhem that ensued afterward.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wher're we going? This isn't the way back.
Zak: No we're taking the long way this time.
Long way? Have I met you guys before? I don't recognize your face...or ...face.
Zak: So how exactly do you get the ghosts riled up?
Well, I've never really hear them called that before, but it works better than most.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jackie and Leola: Well...(fuming) gun cocks silently
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, first you gotta call 'em really ugly names...like...ugly..or fat..that one gets 'em a lot. Bitch works a lot too. Especially with the smaller one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leola: I really am going to kill him this time around, aren't I?
Jackie: Your asking the other ugly fat bitch in the room? I don't even think we have a choice anymore.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aaron: Let's just see if those tactics work. And remember to ask if their in the room or not so you can get a definitive response.
Oh, you'll get a response alright. One good slap in the face is a norm for me.
Zak: Awesome! Could you ask them to hit me?
If you call them bitch in a bad way and not the way they like it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jackie: And by this time they pull up, walk around the front, navigate the asshole inside...and the moment they lock the door behind him...classic.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Na, I don't like that man. This happened to me at a bad party once and it really didn't end well, with me being tied to a lamp shape and shit. I think Satan was involved but he's a crafty bastard and nobody believes the drunk one.
Nick: So you've had to real experiences before, huh?
Where the hell did you come from! Just popped out of nowhere!
Zak: So we're about to turn off the lights and turn on the static night vision camera's.
What? No you're not!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Leola: Then.. the lights go off and the girlish scream that came from the TV made our blood curdle. Totally worth the phone call now!
Jackie: For those of you confused...we bribed the bartender. So, the story continues in this abandoned microbrewery. The best part was when he found out that there was no beer and that it was once micro brewed: two deaths from which there was no hope.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zak: So many people died here you know?
I wouldn't doubt it. They probably all jump off the tower out of shame.
Nick: Is there anyone here?
Yeah. We are stupid. Who are you talking to.
Aaron: Ghosts.
Those bitches are here?@! Come out you fat, over obsessed bitches! This was funny but I know you two had something to do with it! You know how I am around empty bottles...and micro brewed ones at that! I hate you guys! And who are these weird guys who want to hang out with me in the dark with cameras?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jackie and Leola: (laughing so hard we fell on the ground...for you texters...LOL.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zak: That's it! Get 'em out here!
Damn right I'm gonna! You better...heeeyyy...which one of you just touched me?
Nick: You're feeling stuff?
Right now a bit violated...and a little creepy.
Aaron: That could be them.
Them who? Cause the girls are too repulsed by me to actually touch me. Yell at me, hit me, but not touch me...like that. Who the hell said that?!
Nick: You heard something too?
It said something about wanting energy...but I don't think it said it in a good...drunken faun kinda way.
(playing back the audio) "Suck....want you're energy."
Suck on this! (flails middle finger up) You want it, come get it!
Aaron: Shhh! What was that?
I think it was your mom.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jackie: Good one.
Leola: I'm kinda proud of that. Sure hope he's not going to miss this vodka while he's gone.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(moving into the next room closer to the strange noise they heard earlier.)
Nick: Is there anyone here?
(death rattle is hear with some shuffling on the floor)
Well, I'm sober.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jackie and Leola: Whoa!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zak: Did you just hear that? It sounded like a child in the next room.
Really, cause I just heard an emo kid running in the night. Their always crying bout something.
Aaron: Poor guy probably needs our help.
I didn't bring a gun with me. That's all the help they need really. Maybe a porno mag and some cloves....ohhh!!! Can't do that anymore! Sucker!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leola: Well...I'm back to killing him.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zak: I think we've collected enough evidence to take it back to the lab.
:sighs: Alright, but I have to warn you I'll need something to help me do anything kinky.
(Once back at the house, Drunken Faun was unusually....sober.)
Jackie: This is a new you. I would offer you Vodka...but we drank that.
That's not a problem, I drank some detergent a few minutes ago. It'll do the trick good.
Leola: Soooo...what did ya think of doing Ghost Adventures?
I think you two are evil, and you're now jealous of me.
Jackie: How so? I don't think my highest ambition is to skinny dip in an arctic pool with four Mexican immigrants cause they brought the whole family.
No...but that was cool. Na, I got to check out Zak's ass up close when I tripped on Nick when he was busy trying to get the feel of another morgue table.
Leola: Ahh...yeah, maybe a bit. But, you now have a problem.
With what.
Leola: (holds gun up to head) 'Fat'?
Did I say fat? I really meant you're stupid.
Leola: (cocks gun)
Jackie: We have to keep around a bit longer...there are so many other tv shows he could be on...like Shark Week. And Man vs. Wild. Or Mythbusters.
Leola: Ohhh, that's a good one. Cause he's already a myth and all.
Aren't you two torture enough?
Leola: Indeed. Drunken Faun is being pranked right now and it was all a mistake! How I wish we thought of this!
Jackie: Right now we are watching one of more entertaining shows, Ghost Adventures. Note our surprise when they were on their way to an investigation when they were told by a local bar owner that Drunken Faun was an expert belligerent ghost attractor. In reality he was just trying to get Drunken Faun out of the bar at any cost and though this was a devious misconception, he decided to take that opportunity.
Jackie: And this is a running account of the conversation that started and the mayhem that ensued afterward.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wher're we going? This isn't the way back.
Zak: No we're taking the long way this time.
Long way? Have I met you guys before? I don't recognize your face...or ...face.
Zak: So how exactly do you get the ghosts riled up?
Well, I've never really hear them called that before, but it works better than most.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jackie and Leola: Well...(fuming) gun cocks silently
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, first you gotta call 'em really ugly names...like...ugly..or fat..that one gets 'em a lot. Bitch works a lot too. Especially with the smaller one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leola: I really am going to kill him this time around, aren't I?
Jackie: Your asking the other ugly fat bitch in the room? I don't even think we have a choice anymore.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aaron: Let's just see if those tactics work. And remember to ask if their in the room or not so you can get a definitive response.
Oh, you'll get a response alright. One good slap in the face is a norm for me.
Zak: Awesome! Could you ask them to hit me?
If you call them bitch in a bad way and not the way they like it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jackie: And by this time they pull up, walk around the front, navigate the asshole inside...and the moment they lock the door behind him...classic.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Na, I don't like that man. This happened to me at a bad party once and it really didn't end well, with me being tied to a lamp shape and shit. I think Satan was involved but he's a crafty bastard and nobody believes the drunk one.
Nick: So you've had to real experiences before, huh?
Where the hell did you come from! Just popped out of nowhere!
Zak: So we're about to turn off the lights and turn on the static night vision camera's.
What? No you're not!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Leola: Then.. the lights go off and the girlish scream that came from the TV made our blood curdle. Totally worth the phone call now!
Jackie: For those of you confused...we bribed the bartender. So, the story continues in this abandoned microbrewery. The best part was when he found out that there was no beer and that it was once micro brewed: two deaths from which there was no hope.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zak: So many people died here you know?
I wouldn't doubt it. They probably all jump off the tower out of shame.
Nick: Is there anyone here?
Yeah. We are stupid. Who are you talking to.
Aaron: Ghosts.
Those bitches are here?@! Come out you fat, over obsessed bitches! This was funny but I know you two had something to do with it! You know how I am around empty bottles...and micro brewed ones at that! I hate you guys! And who are these weird guys who want to hang out with me in the dark with cameras?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jackie and Leola: (laughing so hard we fell on the ground...for you texters...LOL.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zak: That's it! Get 'em out here!
Damn right I'm gonna! You better...heeeyyy...which one of you just touched me?
Nick: You're feeling stuff?
Right now a bit violated...and a little creepy.
Aaron: That could be them.
Them who? Cause the girls are too repulsed by me to actually touch me. Yell at me, hit me, but not touch me...like that. Who the hell said that?!
Nick: You heard something too?
It said something about wanting energy...but I don't think it said it in a good...drunken faun kinda way.
(playing back the audio) "Suck....want you're energy."
Suck on this! (flails middle finger up) You want it, come get it!
Aaron: Shhh! What was that?
I think it was your mom.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jackie: Good one.
Leola: I'm kinda proud of that. Sure hope he's not going to miss this vodka while he's gone.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(moving into the next room closer to the strange noise they heard earlier.)
Nick: Is there anyone here?
(death rattle is hear with some shuffling on the floor)
Well, I'm sober.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jackie and Leola: Whoa!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zak: Did you just hear that? It sounded like a child in the next room.
Really, cause I just heard an emo kid running in the night. Their always crying bout something.
Aaron: Poor guy probably needs our help.
I didn't bring a gun with me. That's all the help they need really. Maybe a porno mag and some cloves....ohhh!!! Can't do that anymore! Sucker!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leola: Well...I'm back to killing him.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zak: I think we've collected enough evidence to take it back to the lab.
:sighs: Alright, but I have to warn you I'll need something to help me do anything kinky.
(Once back at the house, Drunken Faun was unusually....sober.)
Jackie: This is a new you. I would offer you Vodka...but we drank that.
That's not a problem, I drank some detergent a few minutes ago. It'll do the trick good.
Leola: Soooo...what did ya think of doing Ghost Adventures?
I think you two are evil, and you're now jealous of me.
Jackie: How so? I don't think my highest ambition is to skinny dip in an arctic pool with four Mexican immigrants cause they brought the whole family.
No...but that was cool. Na, I got to check out Zak's ass up close when I tripped on Nick when he was busy trying to get the feel of another morgue table.
Leola: Ahh...yeah, maybe a bit. But, you now have a problem.
With what.
Leola: (holds gun up to head) 'Fat'?
Did I say fat? I really meant you're stupid.
Leola: (cocks gun)
Jackie: We have to keep around a bit longer...there are so many other tv shows he could be on...like Shark Week. And Man vs. Wild. Or Mythbusters.
Leola: Ohhh, that's a good one. Cause he's already a myth and all.
Aren't you two torture enough?
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