Drunken Faun - Vampire Days

Have you ever met a vampire?

Victor Von Lichson

Dear Lick my Vicht

Ohhhh....have I ever.  Come on girls!  We're going to Miami!

Jackie: What?  Why?

I said...just get...Why do I repeat myself all the time?  I don't stutter.

Leola: Yeah...much.

I built the still into the trunk so we don't have to stop.  I'll just pee out the window.

Jackie:  To hell you will!!

Let's just go.

(8 hours of riding later)

Leola:  I hate you.

Now, now the cop was real nice...and handsy.  So, now we have to find some Cubans.

Jackie and Leola: (dumbfounded)  We're in Miami asshole!!

We have to find superstitious Cubans.  I think this night club should have some.

Jackie: The Midnight Buffet?  Please tell me this isn't a stripper club.

Leola:  Who exactly are we looking for?

Armand.

Jackie and Leola: (pause) Are you joking?

Do I ever?  Damn!  You guys are slow today.

Jackie:  We're looking for a fictitious character in an Anne Rice novel?

Not looking...found.  See them Chupacabra fans over there? They'll know.  Just let me wave this bite mark on my ass and they'll tell us where to find him.

Leola: Chupacabra?

Jackie:  Roughly translated...Goat Sucker.

Yeah...and I'm part faun.  That's close enough right?

Leola: So the bite mark came from Armand...who is not real...and is indeed fictional?

Well, let's say he's the guy that character was based.

Jackie: Oh, good lord!

Leola:  I'll buy you a drink. This is going to be a long trip.